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坑爹幻途

第三章 偷食物

坑爹幻途 閃耀的沙子 2104 2019-09-24 15:34:35

  {"body":[{"id":"40067704605900800","sort":0,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"餓,餓,餓,你就知道吃"},{"id":"40067704605900801","sort":1024,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹,不要生氣的嘛,雖然你帥氣的外表沒能吸引女嘉賓,但是啦啦還有后招滴啦"},{"id":"40067704605900802","sort":2048,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"還有什么后招?"},{"id":"40067704605900803","sort":3072,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹,你留口水滴樣子……你去賣相,如何?"},{"id":"40067704605900804","sort":4096,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"死啦啦,你胡說什么?"},{"id":"40067704605900805","sort":5120,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹,你可別想歪了呀,啦啦的意思是你用你的美貌,再加上你那豐富無比的想象表演起來,必定能吸引無數(shù)觀眾,這時候啦啦就向周圍觀眾收錢"},{"id":"40067704605900806","sort":6144,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"死啦啦,明顯挖坑讓我跳,我啥都不會,表演什么?"},{"id":"40067704605900807","sort":7168,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"哎呀,你跳廣場舞唄!反正這個世界沒有廣場舞,爹爹再不去賣藝,啦啦就要餓死了,嗚嗚~"},{"id":"40067704605900808","sort":8192,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"我不會,最討厭廣場舞了"},{"id":"40067704605900809","sort":9216,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"所以嘛,這個世界沒有廣場舞"},{"id":"40067704605900810","sort":10240,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"我哪里會?"},{"id":"40067704605900811","sort":11264,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"不會就瞎跳,沒吃過豬肉還沒見過豬跑?以爹爹帥氣的外表,加強裝逼的格調,一定可以吸引許多大媽,說不定有人看上你了哦??!"},{"id":"40067704605900812","sort":12288,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"去你的,你才是豬呢!就像挖坑讓我跳,這叫才藝表演,什么裝逼的格調?你腦袋里都想什么?還吸引大媽……"},{"id":"40067704605900813","sort":13312,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"對對對,準確的說街頭賣藝,重要的是爹爹賺到錢,不讓啦啦餓著肚子……"},{"id":"40067704605900814","sort":14336,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"你就想到你自己,不如你去賣萌,說不定吸引更多的觀眾"},{"id":"40067704605900815","sort":15360,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹,你忍心讓這么可愛的啦啦拋頭露面嗎?"},{"id":"40067704605900816","sort":16384,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"你向觀眾收錢也是拋頭露面了"},{"id":"40067704605900817","sort":17408,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"那一樣嗎?你表演人家集瞧在你身上,如果我去賣萌,人家搶走我什么辦?那爹爹不僅沒有我這么可愛的女兒了嘛?再說,你是爹爹,你能不管女兒的溫飽問題嗎?你羞不羞?"},{"id":"40067704605900818","sort":18432,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"……"},{"id":"40067704605900819","sort":19456,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹,我們趕緊找個地方,你跳跳廣場舞,我就去收錢,先把今天的晚飯解決了"},{"id":"40067704605900820","sort":20480,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"……"},{"id":"40067704605900821","sort":21504,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"啦啦都餓瘦了"},{"id":"40067704605900822","sort":22528,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"都被你給說餓了"},{"id":"40067704605900823","sort":23552,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"那趕緊的,哪來那么多的廢話"},{"id":"40067704605900824","sort":24576,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"……"},{"id":"40067704605900825","sort":25600,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"在啦啦面前,又氣又恨,一點辦法都沒有。我對自己一點記憶都沒有,這個世界我又不懂他們的語言和規(guī)矩,自己又沒本事,更重要的是我要弄清楚我是誰,我為什么來這里?還有,我什么會幻想出一個坑爹的寶寶?"},{"id":"40069058611118080","sort":26624,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"就這里"},{"id":"40069058611118081","sort":27648,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"啦啦也不知道從哪里拿來一個鑼鼓,邊敲邊喊我不懂的語言"},{"id":"40069058611118082","sort":28672,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"@#~$%&……"},{"id":"40069058611118083","sort":29696,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"我愣住不動,不知道它說什么"},{"id":"40069058611118084","sort":30720,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹,快跳……"},{"id":"40069058611118085","sort":31744,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"跳什么"},{"id":"40069058611118086","sort":32768,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"廣場舞啊……"},{"id":"40069058611118087","sort":33792,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"無奈我隨便扭動腰,揮動手,感覺十分別扭"},{"id":"40069058611118088","sort":34816,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"沒音樂,不知道什么跳"},{"id":"40069058611118089","sort":35840,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"也不知道啦啦從哪里拿出個放音機,放著《最炫民族風》,響起:蒼茫的天涯是我的愛……"},{"id":"40069058611118090","sort":36864,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"快跳快跳"},{"id":"40069058611118091","sort":37888,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"接著啦啦向周圍的觀眾狂喊,也不知道它說什么"},{"id":"40069058611118092","sort":38912,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"$%?~$&……"},{"id":"40069058611118093","sort":39936,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"周圍的觀眾紛紛向我這邊靠過來,我暗喜,這啦啦還是有點頭腦"},{"id":"40069058611118094","sort":40960,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"$%?~$&……"},{"id":"40069058611118095","sort":41984,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"啦啦重復的說,邊打鑼鼓吆喝,我分明感覺到自己在古代街頭賣藝的感覺"},{"id":"40069058611118096","sort":43008,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"你這個主意不錯,還挺聰明的"},{"id":"40069058611118097","sort":44032,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"那當然了,誰叫我是爹爹幻想最聰明的孩子呢"},{"id":"40069058611118098","sort":45056,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"不對,我這暗喜的心情還沒到高峰,氣氛就不對,剛圍過來的觀眾只看一眼,做一個不屑的擺手姿勢轉身就走,啦啦連向人家討錢的機會都沒有"},{"id":"40069058611118099","sort":46080,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"&#@&……"},{"id":"40069058611118100","sort":47104,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"啦啦著急的喊著,應該是叫回觀眾的語氣,但是觀眾那不屑的眼神,自然不會回頭,我都要氣炸了,老子拼命的扭腰,彎腿,擺手,居然換來不屑的眼神"},{"id":"40069058611118101","sort":48128,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"什么鬼,居然看不起我"},{"id":"40069058611118102","sort":49152,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹呀!你耍猴也得像個耍猴的樣子,你看看,你哪點像耍猴的樣子?"},{"id":"40069058611118103","sort":50176,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"耍猴?我大怒"},{"id":"40069058611118104","sort":51200,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"這明明是廣場舞,哪里是耍猴?"},{"id":"40069058611118105","sort":52224,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹呀!我要不說耍猴,連圍觀群眾一個都不會有,這里的人最討厭廣場舞了"},{"id":"40069058611118106","sort":53248,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"你……"},{"id":"40069058611118107","sort":54272,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"氣死我了,這啦啦竟然坑我,讓我跳廣場舞,居然對周圍的人說看耍猴!這坑爹真的坑到家了"},{"id":"40069058611118108","sort":55296,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹呀,你那耍帥的外表,啦啦在腦袋里幻想過無數(shù)遍,跳廣場舞就是耍猴的表演,你居然跳得不倫不類,果然是三坑滴帥氣爹爹"},{"id":"40069058611118109","sort":56320,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"死啦啦,你才是真正的坑爹"},{"id":"40069058611118110","sort":57344,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹,你不能怪啦啦,要怪只怪你自己,誰讓你討厭廣場舞,所以這個世界的廣場舞不受歡迎,而你最喜歡耍猴,所以我一喊耍猴,狂多人過來,要怪就怪你自己"},{"id":"40069058611118111","sort":58368,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"大怒"},{"id":"40069058611118112","sort":59392,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"那你為什么不說讓我表演耍猴?"},{"id":"40069058611118113","sort":60416,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹呀!一是你不會,二是你帥氣的外表,喜歡裝逼,跟你說讓你耍猴,你絕對不干"},{"id":"40069058611118114","sort":61440,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"死啦啦,別跟我說話,別跟著我"},{"id":"40069058611118115","sort":62464,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"我滿腔怒火,快去離開,立刻馬上離開啦啦,這貨今天已經(jīng)坑爹兩次了"},{"id":"40069058611118116","sort":63488,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹,爹爹……等等啦啦……"},{"id":"40069058611118117","sort":64512,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"我不理會,直接跑了起來,一會終于沒看到啦啦追上來,松了一口氣,想想干什么去?"},{"id":"40069058611118118","sort":65536,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"現(xiàn)在最重要的是解決吃飯的問題,然后想辦法學習這里的語言,弄懂這里的規(guī)則"},{"id":"40069058611118119","sort":66560,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"我漫無目的的向前走,也沒想出能找到飯吃的辦法。雖然剛才很生氣啦啦,但是沒它好像真不行,這里的人不懂我說的話,這死啦啦,要是不坑爹就好了"},{"id":"40069058611118120","sort":67584,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"這街道上香氣撲鼻,餓的整個胃都疼了,什么才能弄到吃的,不會要我去偷,去搶吧!這可是犯法的事情"},{"id":"40069058611118121","sort":68608,"type":1,"role":"40068643624943687","content":"抓住它,抓住它"},{"id":"40069058611118122","sort":69632,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"我回頭一看,只見衙役頭頭帶領一群衙役正在追捕啦啦,啦啦嘴里吊著肉,四只腿瘋狂的朝我這邊跑。"},{"id":"40069058611118123","sort":70656,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"死啦啦,肯定偷東西,又要坑我"},{"id":"40069058611118124","sort":71680,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"爹爹,爹爹,快跑"},{"id":"40069058611118125","sort":72704,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"也不知道啦啦嘴里叼著肉,是如何說話的"},{"id":"40069058611118126","sort":73728,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"我才不跑呢,你偷東西關我什么事?"},{"id":"40069058611118127","sort":74752,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"@$%$#……"},{"id":"40069058611118128","sort":75776,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"我心里大驚,必定不是什么好事"},{"id":"40069058611118129","sort":76800,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"你說什么?"},{"id":"40069058611118130","sort":77824,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"我對他們說,是你指使我偷東西的,我是你女兒,從小就培養(yǎng)成小偷,帥氣的爹爹趕緊跑……"},{"id":"40069058611118131","sort":78848,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"我這下又驚又怒,這死啦啦,明顯就是想坑死我的節(jié)湊"},{"id":"40069058611118132","sort":79872,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"死啦啦,等避過這個風頭,看我什么收拾你"},{"id":"40069058611118133","sort":80896,"type":1,"role":"40017731620174337","content":"快跑快跑……"},{"id":"40069058611118134","sort":81920,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"我正準備跑,被衙役按住了,而啦啦乘亂跑得無影無蹤"},{"id":"40069058611118135","sort":82944,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"死啦啦,自己偷食物,居然讓我定罪,這個世界不知道什么規(guī)矩,萬一偷東西判死刑,那真是冤"},{"id":"40069058611118136","sort":83968,"type":1,"role":"40068643624943687","content":"@$&~#……"},{"id":"40069058611118137","sort":84992,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"不知道他說什么鬼話,又不像你已經(jīng)被捕了,你可以保持沉默,但是你所說的一切將成為呈當證供……因為口型不對"},{"id":"40069058611118138","sort":86016,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"衙役頭頭狂說一頓,估計他們也聽不懂我說的,我懶得解釋,反正現(xiàn)在餓著肚子,自己剛來這里什么都不知道,跑不動,聽不懂,肚子餓,愛什么辦就什么辦"},{"id":"40069058611118139","sort":87040,"type":1,"role":"40018361881426737","content":"抓吧!抓吧!我沒什么可說的"},{"id":"40069058611118140","sort":88064,"type":1,"role":"40068643624943687","content":"*:#@&……"},{"id":"40069058611118141","sort":89088,"type":1,"role":"40017265064503235","content":"就這樣我被他們押進了“牢房”,這牢房比酒店還豪華,我路過各個房間都是打開的沒一個犯人。什么鬼?這是關犯人還是讓犯人享受?"}],"sentencecount":88}

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