白骨精愛(ài)上我

　　{"body":[{"id":"40720552268136448","sort":"0","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"這突然地做“男人”！我很不習(xí)慣！所以當(dāng)時(shí)，我就變成我蘇菲亞的容貌！"},{"id":"40720911166341120","sort":"1024","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"我想這唐僧要頭疼了！他這樣帶著個(gè)大美人，豈不是要讓人誤會(huì)？！"},{"id":"40720911166341121","sort":"2048","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"不！他看我這樣！他當(dāng)時(shí)，他跪了！他向我懺悔，他說(shuō)：“都是我的錯(cuò)！我不該讓你穿虎皮裙！導(dǎo)致你性取向出問(wèn)題，害你以為自己是女人！”我一聽(tīng)，我急了！我叫道：“老娘我本來(lái)就是女的！”"},{"id":"40721493922938880","sort":"3072","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"??！這還是我記憶中的唐僧嗎？"},{"id":"40721493922938881","sort":"4096","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"反正，我對(duì)他的曾經(jīng)的印象是徹底崩塌，變廢墟了！當(dāng)時(shí)，他甚至對(duì)我說(shuō)：“悟空！你別這樣好嗎？師傅受不了！這罪惡感，就像陰差折磨著我！”我一聽(tīng)，我就惱火了，我說(shuō)：“老娘我就是想做回自己！你哪來(lái)那么都廢話？”"},{"id":"40721493922938882","sort":"5120","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"呃……你那兩位師弟呢？當(dāng)時(shí)，它們就沒(méi)反應(yīng)嗎？！"},{"id":"40721493922938883","sort":"6144","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"說(shuō)到它們，我……我就更生氣了！那豬八戒啊直是嘴臉角來(lái)了個(gè)“疑是銀河落九天！”還跑過(guò)來(lái)……它明著跟我稱(chēng)兄道弟，實(shí)則是吃我豆腐！當(dāng)時(shí)，我連忙變出一瓶防狼噴霧劑！我噴得它，是一陣鬼哭狼嚎！"},{"id":"40721493922938884","sort":"7168","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"該！像這種色鬼！就得讓它長(zhǎng)點(diǎn)記性！"},{"id":"40721616077848576","sort":"8192","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"而那個(gè)沙悟凈呢？它當(dāng)時(shí)，它看我這樣，它說(shuō)：“猴哥！你……這變的是誰(shuí)??！你……你這樣會(huì)弄壞別人的名聲的！這年頭，女人不宜拋頭露面！搞不好！你會(huì)害人家戴上蕩婦的頭銜！”我一聽(tīng)，我當(dāng)時(shí)，我就吐血三升！"},{"id":"40721701960417280","sort":"9216","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"我想，它是摸到你的逆鱗了！"},{"id":"40721701960417281","sort":"10240","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"可不就是嘛！我當(dāng)時(shí)，我咬牙切齒！我將它是往死里打！突然，唐僧跑過(guò)來(lái)！他說(shuō)：“悟空！別打了！再打，它就成肉醬了！”"},{"id":"40721701960417282","sort":"11264","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"哇靠！這么兇殘啊！"},{"id":"40722025978789888","sort":"12288","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"不這樣怎么殺一儆百？！當(dāng)時(shí)，包括唐僧在內(nèi)，是無(wú)人敢再說(shuō)一句！"},{"id":"40722025978789889","sort":"13312","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"你牛！你就不怕給它們留下陰影面積？"},{"id":"40722025978789890","sort":"14336","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"那不是很好？說(shuō)明它們記??！也省得我提醒！"},{"id":"40722025978789891","sort":"15360","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"呃……我無(wú)語(yǔ)了！那后來(lái)呢？"},{"id":"40722025978789892","sort":"16384","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"我們來(lái)到白虎嶺啊！"},{"id":"40722025978789893","sort":"17408","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"哦！那不是白骨精的地盤(pán)嗎？！"},{"id":"40722025978789894","sort":"18432","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"沒(méi)錯(cuò)！但，這是一場(chǎng)噩夢(mèng)！現(xiàn)在，我想起來(lái)了，我幼小的心靈還很是受傷！"},{"id":"40722025978789895","sort":"19456","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"?。〔皇前?！三打白骨精，你不是很熟？你應(yīng)該有對(duì)策啊！"},{"id":"40722025978789896","sort":"20480","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"滾！它娘的！那都是騙人的。老娘……老娘我被坑慘了！"},{"id":"40722025978789897","sort":"21504","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"?。≡趺椿厥?？感覺(jué)，就算在我頭頂放兩只天馬飛行……我也想象不出來(lái)！"},{"id":"40722074565607424","sort":"22528","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"你知道嗎？這白骨精是個(gè)男的！它娘的！它居然對(duì)我是一見(jiàn)鐘情！"},{"id":"40722074565607425","sort":"23552","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"啥？我耳朵沒(méi)出問(wèn)題吧！畢竟我還年輕！"},{"id":"40722314530127872","sort":"24576","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"真的！當(dāng)時(shí)，它還揚(yáng)言要娶我回去，做什么壓寨夫人！我當(dāng)時(shí)，我就碉堡了！"},{"id":"40722314530127873","sort":"25600","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"笑死我了！這么說(shuō)來(lái)，孫悟空差點(diǎn)成白骨夫人？"},{"id":"40722570634330112","sort":"26624","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"是啊！當(dāng)時(shí)，豬八戒笑的肚子疼！沙悟凈直接在地上滾！唐僧更是笑暈了！"},{"id":"40722570634330113","sort":"27648","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"這么說(shuō)來(lái)！整個(gè)團(tuán)隊(duì)，就剩你一個(gè)戰(zhàn)力了？！"},{"id":"40722570634330114","sort":"28672","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"是??！太悲催了！由于那些武功招式，我還不熟練！是漏洞百出……結(jié)果……結(jié)果我被調(diào)戲了！"},{"id":"40722570634330115","sort":"29696","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"什么？孫悟空被調(diào)戲了！這……這是什么概念？頭版頭條嗎？！"},{"id":"40722570634330116","sort":"30720","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"是！還是三界之內(nèi)的！老實(shí)說(shuō)，我當(dāng)時(shí)，我很生氣！我吼道：“你當(dāng)老娘是飛天豆腐??！再伸手試試！我讓你殘廢！”"},{"id":"40722846032330752","sort":"31744","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"我想，這威脅應(yīng)該是沒(méi)用吧！"},{"id":"40722846032330753","sort":"32768","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"可不就是！它還更來(lái)勁了！還說(shuō)什么，小辣椒！我最喜歡辣――爽！"},{"id":"40722938659340288","sort":"33792","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"哇涼！這……這整個(gè)是上演惡霸調(diào)戲良家婦女的戲碼啊！"},{"id":"40722938659340289","sort":"34816","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"沒(méi)錯(cuò)！所以我當(dāng)時(shí)，我就想，我要是將它打殘廢了！它不會(huì)給我來(lái)句：“你……你這么疼我?。　蹦强删碗u皮疙瘩掉一地，能把人活埋了！"},{"id":"40723117974224896","sort":"35840","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"太糟糕了！這么下流的白骨精！你豈不是開(kāi)了回豆腐坊？！"},{"id":"40723154733105152","sort":"36864","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"是??！當(dāng)是我就想：“怎么沒(méi)把你撐死？！”看著它一次次得手！我覺(jué)得，我是一肚子巖漿，我要把腦袋炸成火山了！"},{"id":"40723350154117120","sort":"37888","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"耶！別激動(dòng)啊！我可是無(wú)辜者，別把當(dāng)時(shí)的怒火殃及我！"},{"id":"40723498884136960","sort":"38912","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"對(duì)不起！不過(guò)，我真是沒(méi)辦法忍受那家伙！我只要一想起那臉，我覺(jué)得它像一張清末的不平等條約――全是恥辱！"},{"id":"40723537270407168","sort":"39936","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"呃……我想，我應(yīng)該提醒你一下！那是孫悟空的身體！它不是你的身體！"},{"id":"40723843001614336","sort":"40960","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"這話太晚了！當(dāng)時(shí)，那感覺(jué)，可真真是我的感覺(jué)！我非常地惱怒！我拼命攻擊它！我吼道：“你已經(jīng)是白骨了，那墳?zāi)共攀悄愕臍w宿！給我滾回家去！”"},{"id":"40723992251727872","sort":"41984","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"等等……我有一個(gè)問(wèn)題！白骨精不是很弱嗎？！"},{"id":"40723992251727873","sort":"43008","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"所以我才會(huì)說(shuō)，我被坑慘了！它可是擁有幾千年的道行?。【褪且?yàn)檩p敵，我這豆腐白送了好多！"},{"id":"40724091841282048","sort":"44032","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"呃……看來(lái)！當(dāng)時(shí)，你的情況很不樂(lè)觀！"},{"id":"40724336402759680","sort":"45056","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"沒(méi)錯(cuò)！是逼得我使出美人計(jì)！當(dāng)時(shí)，我想：“這色字頭上一把刀，我就是它自殺的刀！”"},{"id":"40724434113265664","sort":"46080","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"你……你不會(huì)告訴我，你當(dāng)時(shí)，衣衫不整吧？！"},{"id":"40724434113265665","sort":"47104","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"我瘋了嗎？我當(dāng)時(shí)，我是拿救命毫毛，變了兩個(gè)衣衫不整的美人！它們成功吸引了白骨精的注意！我趁機(jī)是一棒子打死了它！"},{"id":"40724698236977152","sort":"48128","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"啊！我還以為這會(huì)是一場(chǎng)持久戰(zhàn)呢？！"},{"id":"40724782794145792","sort":"49152","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"得了吧！我可不想升級(jí)成大型豆腐加工工廠！"},{"id":"40724864666959872","sort":"50176","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"對(duì)！沒(méi)必要這么便宜那東西！不過(guò)，它這算是“牡丹花下死，做鬼也風(fēng)流”啊！"},{"id":"40724864666959873","sort":"51200","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"耶！你別刺激我??！"},{"id":"40724938503487488","sort":"52224","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"好了！我就是隨便開(kāi)個(gè)玩笑！你至于嗎？！"},{"id":"40725012860108800","sort":"53248","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"行了！……老娘我是宰相的肚……讓你撐回船，可以了吧？！"}],"sentencecount":53}